Tori Spelling’s marriage to Dean McDermott hit a breaking point before divorce: ‘I f—ing lost it’

Tori Spelling is opening up about her divorce from her husband of 18 years, Dean McDermott.

On Friday, Fox News Digital confirmed that Spelling had filed for divorce, citing irreconcilable differences as the grounds to dissolve her union with McDermott. 

At the iHeart Radio Music Awards red carpet, Spelling told Fox News Digital, "I'm doing well. It was the appropriate time and the kids and I and Dean are doing great. And we're getting through this as a family."

Spelling elaborated about the major change to her life on her new podcast, "missSPELLING."

"So, I just filed for divorce," she says in the opening moments of the show, taking a deep breath. "I just filed for divorce, whoa. I said the words that I’ve said in my head for like 16 years…wild."

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As she discusses her and McDermott’s relationship, she also called him to inform him the news of their divorce had gone public. 

During the podcast, McDermott calls back, but only Spelling’s side of the conversation is heard. 

WATCH: Tori Spelling shares details about her divorce from Dean McDermott

It’s clear they’re speaking about the optics of her filing for divorce first, and she explains why she did so to him and listeners.

"I feel like I deserve to file first, then. You basically put it all out there with the Daily Mail. You said everything that you've done to me all through the years. So I think it would make perfect sense that it's followed up with I would file. Because those are things that I would never have divulged to somebody, and you did." 

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Spelling referred to McDermott’s 2023 interview with The Daily Mail, where he divulged intimate details of their relationship, including his struggle with addiction and her keeping barn animals in their bedroom as factors in their separation. 

She ends the call by telling McDermott, "I love you" and then says, "Wait, that’s it. I’ve never felt more alone…I’ve never felt more alone in 50 years."

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As Spelling begins to cry and tries to laugh it off, she notes she’s surrounded by friends in a podcast studio, but still says, "I don’t feel worth loving. And that’s just something that’s in you. It’s not something I wanted or created. That starts when you’re young."

Throughout the podcast, Spelling recalls her relationship with McDermott, beginning with their "fairytale romance."

"Dean and I had this fairytale romance, even though we were both married when we met — not fairytale right there," Spelling admitted. "But we had other partners that we cheated on and left, and then we got together."

She added, "It shouldn’t have made it 18 years, and I think he would say the same thing."

The "90210" alum also spoke about "red flags" she saw in McDermott, like "his temper, which was fueled by alcohol."

The couple married in 2006 and have five children together: Liam, Finn, Beau, Stella and Hattie. 

The mom of five admits she thought about leaving at multiple points after the births of some of her children, but never did. 

Having children further impacted their relationship, with Spelling saying, "Our relationship was never the same after having kids."

She continued, "We always said we won’t be those parents who change. We’ll make sure we make our relationship a priority, the two of us, and have date nights, and everything went out the window. I became completely focused on the kids. And kind of left him in a way. And I get it. It doesn’t excuse his behavior and everything he did and how he handled things, and I’m not minimizing his part in this and how his lack of sobriety did affect me and the kids for years and years, and I’m really happy he’s sober now. But our relationship definitely changed, to the point where I felt like I was in this alone with the kids." 

The "final blow" came last year after they spent the day together at her friend and co-star Jennie Garth’s house, noting McDermott (who is now sober) had been drinking.

At home, they were having an argument that was going back and forth, and she revealed the comment that sent her over the edge.

"He said, 'Ugh, I'm so sick of this. I have been picking up Tori Spelling's s--- for 18 years.' And I f---ing lost it," Spelling recalled.

The podcast episode ends on that comment.

In the divorce filing documents, the date of separation for the couple is listed as June 17, 2023, the same day McDermott shared a now-deleted Instagram post announcing their separation. 

Spelling is requesting spousal support, while denying offering spousal support to McDermott. As for their children, she requested full physical custody and joint legal custody, with visitation rights for McDermott.